This is taken from a talk given on Nov. 11 '97 in Ringsted Denmark.
The language was spoken.
Some editing was done to make it easier to read.
But it largely remains in a 'spoken' format.
Often, what
we feel in connection with purpose is something we are doing. Like you're
writing a book, composing a song or your purpose is to be faithful in your
marriage and raise your children.
There may
be so many things that we put kind of a limit on ourselves with the idea
of purpose, we put a sense of responsibility, which is usually kind of
heavy. Not responding-to-ability, which could be very joyful.
It may be
that you're thinking that you are raised in such and such a way, maybe
a good Catholic tradition or a Jewish tradition or whatever, and your
real purpose is to find God, of course, but within that tradition.
Maybe 'the
Purpose part of you' is showing you that there is another openness, another
way of being more flexible with yourself and seeing that there is so many
ways joy can filter in. Maybe somebody ends up teaching kindergarten.
And on the one hand, at least from American standards, the person is not
making enough money. They hardly have enough money to pay their bills,
but they are enjoying the heck out of the job.
"It
may be showing them a lot about the qualities
of the heart, a lot about compassion. And maybe
some of the kids are incredibly psychic."
Then its a paradox
because on the one hand they love the children. Maybe the worst part of
the job is the stupidity that the parents come up with sometimes. And that
may not strike the person as being 'on target' with their purpose, but it
may be a huge step in the right direction. It may be showing them a lot
about the qualities of the heart, a lot about compassion. And maybe some
of the kids are incredibly psychic.
Usually they
are, and the teacher, the 'so called teacher', starts to realize how intuitive
the kids are and how much they pick up on his or her mood, or emotional
state. When she's in a good clear place, the kids function fine. When
she is grouchy and irritable inside, and not necessarily showing anything
outside, then the kids start acting out. There are little fights and arguments
and problems.
It starts
to be a mirror. And the teacher might see that their responsibility is
to really own their own power, and be a clear channel to the light; respective
to how they understand it.
"...that
level of energy can flow regardless
of the circumstances if a person stays
centered within themselves."
It is not like
they have to be a trance channel or a healer per se, but just that, that
level of energy can flow regardless of the circumstances if a person stays
centered within themselves. So that job may teach a lot more about purpose,
than anyone could guess.
I think it's
a critical mind-state in the western tradition to think about: 'What you
do is what you are'. You go to a party or a meeting; and somebody will
say , what do you do? Meaning - how do you make a living? Are you making
a lot of money ? Then you're successful. Maybe the person has an ulcer
and they are working fourteen or fifteen hours a day, they hardly ever
see their kids, their wife is about to divorce them. Oh, but they're on
target, they're on purpose.
So the paradox
of language is obvious in our western culture. We have a lot of rather
small boxes, that we put things in. You talk about purpose - it's one
box. You talk about following the heart - it is another box. Even though
it may be a little bigger box.
In actuality,
I think no matter how we approach these things we start to hit a common
thread. A kind of core place, regarding the Beingness that lives within
us; to be in touch with that., is much more to find our purpose.
To follow
our heart. to engender a sense of guidance, to trust the intuitive side
of ourselves, to trust the guides. And start to see how ridiculously easy
that part of the mind, (I would like to call the Monkey , the ego mind.)
Can create fear and doubt and frustration and irritation. It does a wonderful
job about it. It is a master at it. Creating all kinds of illusions of
conflict and chaos.
About 90%
of what we worry about never happens, of course, but boy, is it fun to
worry about it. And that is the ego's pet project, to keep us in a kind
of a dither [i.e. a state of confusion], a constant state of a muddle.
'No matter how good things are going they can always get worse, so better
expect that they will get worse. Be prepared - things will get really
bad!
So what it
comes to, is to reverse that whole internal dialog that goes on in our
monkey - mind or the outer level of the mind. To reverse that, and start
seeing that there are deeper states of perception, deeper places of knowingness.
It may seem
very scary for the conscious mind to go deeper, because usually we think
of the sub-conscious as a garbage pit. Often when people first start to
'drop down' a little bit, they will hit a lot of fears that they have
been covering up. Its like - "I don't want to look at that - I'm fine!
".And there is a lot of pain, but - "I'm fine." To the point where they
can create a heart attack to get their own attention.
Often when
people bring about a sense of integration within themselves; the first
steps are really scary, because they hit some old programming; that runs
rather deep in most cultures of the world, not just the western culture.
A kind of taboo.
"The
depth within us is so clear and so pristine and
so precise in knowing why we are here...'
I am convinced
that we have all lived many lifetimes, so we have a lot of that 'stuff'
stored up. But this is still not the deeper part of the mind. The depth
within us is so clear and so pristine and so precise in knowing why we are
here; why we have embodied, what choices we have made to come here. The
kind of agreements we´ve made with other people about how to get from
point A to point Z; And how to get to a place of relative enlightenment
and how, along the way, we contribute to one another process.
So the complexity
of the journey may seem overpowering if we try to 'ferret it out' - every
reason, every step, every little pathway - to figure out what our purpose
is in that. But the overall thrust of the energy is very clear and very
simple. It is -- 'we are here to wake up in consciousness'. And how we
go about it is unique and individual.
Maybe somebody likes to paint, maybe somebody likes to do artwork, maybe
somebody else really enjoys being a carpenter and maybe somebody wants
to be a dock-worker and have not a highly complex intellectual life. No
judgments involved.
And this is where, when we come to look at ourselves, we are busy making
a lot of projections on other people. Those are the same projections we
are busy making on ourselves whether we're conscious of it or not.
Usually we
are not conscious of it.
So if there
is somebody who really irritates the crap out of you -- you just can not
stand that person. They stand there as a mirror - a real clear mirror
- about something in yourself that resonates with that, which you don't
like. And its usually well buried: "Oh, that person is really screwed
up. I definitely don't like that."
But somewhere
inside, that judgment carries an emotional charge that says: 'There is
something in yourself that needs to be looked at in that area'.
"So
our judgment on others mirrors
an instant judgment of ourselves."
So our judgment
on others mirrors an instant judgment of ourselves. It's like instant karma.
All you have to do - you can be feeling so good , so happy, then somebody
cuts you off in traffic on the freeway.
At least
for me -- " Yuuack, how can that person do that " and then I realize I've
just blown all my good feelings, just that quick. Sometimes it doesn't
take much to trigger that kind of regression back to what we call basic
reality. A kind of non disciplined way of thinking or feeling -being at
effect rather than being at cause.
So I always feel that to 'ferret out', our purpose, is to seek it out
like a detective. Finding that the clues will be on the one hand fraught
with difficulty. The ego may put up a tremendous smoke screen : 'No, go
the other way, don't look here, you're getting too close, this is getting
too serious, its too sad, or it is too wonderful, you can't possibly be
successful in that way. So and so does not love you, la-ta-da, la-ta-da
You can see
the ego coming up with all these false scenarios to create a sense of
diversion, a feeling of separation, a feeling of fear. Underneath all
of that is our sense of separation from Divinity, and that's the ego's
stock in trade. That is what it does well. It's a dance that it knows
precisely. It has been doing it generation after generation, incarnation
after incarnation. And we´ve all agreed to do the dance together.
I mean, there
is tremendous agreement about how screwed up the world is. That's no problem.
Can you find deep agreement about how wonderful it is ? Not on your life!
Not in your ordinary consciousness, anyway. For example you can enter
into a place of very profound meditation or chanting. You may find that
you trigger states of consciousness where you feel perfectly at peace
- a deep sense of knowingness comes over you - and it may stem from another
life of similar experiences.
You may have
tremendous sudden insight into a situation that has been troubling you
for a long time. Maybe a relationship situation. Or you may have none
of that and just have a feeling of peace. There is the clue! That's where
we're getting down to more of our core desire.
That is one
of the reasons why I always strongly recommend that people -- check out,
try out, different kinds of healing approaches, different kinds of meditation
techniques. Because when you're in the space of working with other people
as a 'healer', you're getting healed!
"...ultimately
the real problem is the problem
in the mind...or the mind's 'devolution'. The mind
that feels separate from Divine energy. If we can
heal that - that's the true healing."
We tend to look
at healing only for the body's sake, and that's fine. We need to find it,
in any way we can. But ultimately the real problem is the problem in the
mind....or the mind's 'devolution'. The mind that feels separate from Divine
energy. If we can heal that - that's the true healing.
So healing
the body may take precedence, and that's where we think we live, we think
we are the body. So we need to get that healed in order to allow the feeling
of calm or peace to come.
But our deeper
Self knows precisely that we are not the body. That the body is a vehicle.
Much like a suit of clothes. And certainly worthy of respect and treating
it well, exercising, giving it good food, some sun. That you find ways
to enhance the physical pleasures. Not in a false sense, you know, like
you go out and get drunk every night, but in the sense of what may bring
peace in a real way. That's fine, because this is touching the ego with
a sense of heaven, a sense of wholeness.
But our deeper
mind knows that we are not the body, that we are here in this body, this
lifetime, for a very brief time. Whether it is thirty years or a hundred
and thirty years. It's still just -- to the soul (a finger 'snap'). It's
that quick.
And then
if we think about having lots of opportunities, it's also nice not to
waste our time on stuff that really doesn't matter. It is not that you
have to prove anything to anybody else. You don't have to get that desperately
sought after Ph.D.. Maybe a masters degree will suffice, if it means total
stress to get this advanced degree.
Now somebody else may come in [incarnate into the body], and it's part
of their purpose - they go for it. But the challenge is not to get our
egos mixed up with what our commonly conceived idea of what purpose is,
and what our actuality of purpose is.
"...one
of the hardest things we really do,
is to understand -- "what do we really want?"
Deep within
we know precisely why we are here. And to touch that knowingness is to reveal
a sense of purpose and to uncover certain levels of courage to go ahead.
We may uncover an awareness also, that there is spiritual guidance that
will help keep us on track with our purpose. Because, that's what we really
want. And I think that one of the hardest things we really do, is to understand
-- "what do we really want?"
Because the
Universe will give us anything we think we really want.. It sounds silly,
but it's the mind. Even this little part of the mind we call the ego partakes
of something of the Divine, and so it becomes tremendously powerful. Not
powerful compared to our totality; -- it can create tremendous illusions
of separation, total chaos. But the inner Self is never budged, it has
never deviated from its place of knowing wholeness.
We can take
that little part of the mind that we think we are, this personality mind,
this ego self, this embodiment self. And as we turn it towards the quest
for knowledge from within, within ourselves and certainly within other
people. To find that Divine energy is often easier to sense in other people.
I find that
if I'm sick, feeling rotten or something, then I need to find someone
who feels worse and help him out and we will both feel better. It's kind
of enlightened selfishness. The tools work. Those tools are there as steppingstones
on the ladder. They help us climb up to a higher perspective and find
inwardly that purpose remains intact.
"Another
way the ego plays the game of
forgetfullness is to focus on anything we've done
that we think we're really guilty of, that God
couldn't possibly forgive us for."
Another way
the ego plays the game of forgetfullness is to focus on anything we've done
that we think we're really guilty of, that God couldn't possibly forgive
us for. We may have been a murderer in some life.
It may seem
painful to remember, if you start remembering past lives. But the Higher
Self holds no judgment on anything; any mistake along the line has just
been seeking in the wrong way. There's always a search, there's always
a hunger, but we are confused regarding where our purpose is. We have
gotten the ego wrapped into it.
I don't want
to say much, but I remember one life when I was a total jerk; I was a
warrior, kind of warlord in Japan or China or some place; if you saw Kurosawa's
rendition like one of the Shakespeare's novels where the guy had 4 sons
and then they divided up his kingdom and all fought each other. That was
like that lifetime, in my remembrance. It was really not nice. And that
one sticks. It's hard to forgive myself on that level.
I know to
my deeper Self 'it's a joke', it doesn't matter; I was just cut off, my
ego was cut off from my Higher Awareness. Most of the lifetimes I remember;
I was doing healing and always some kind of spiritual activity.
"The
Yin and the Yang, the light and the dark,
the shadow self and the true Self; all of
that we would explore. And as we're ready
to forgive ourselves we will remember a lot of it."
The Yin and
the Yang, the light and the dark, the shadow self and the true Self; all
of that we would explore. And as we're ready to forgive ourselves we will
remember a lot of it. It wouldn't serve us to remember much if we're not
in places of forgiveness. The inner wisdom, the inner purpose will always
'bleed through' in the end of any process if we desire it.
Now, the
ego loves drama, and I think somehow the Higher Self has the greatest
drama, but it's a totally different brand; like the courage to go ahead
and discover our divinity; it's scary. What if we realized that we're
like Christ? I mean, really, it's nice to talk about it, but if you realized
that you're really like Christ? I think our egos would just flip out.
It's a nice story, it's a fairy story, it's a nice thought, it's a nice
sentiment, but it's not true; it's certainly not true!
But what
if it actually is true; what if that's the 'core of our Being', and nothing
else is true, but that? What if that's the only truth that exists? The
rest is illusion and purpose would lead us into the awareness of that
Divine Self. Now that is not to project on the outer world and say, well,
we should be like Jesus walking around healing the multitude, raising
the dead.
The outer
mind automatically puts a box around what it is to be in a Christ state
of consciousness, maybe a little child, happy, joyful, playful is reflecting
a tremendous amount of that Christ Consciousness; it doesn't fit any boxes,
it's not putting any money in the bank, it's not heading up some prestigious,
religious university, or anything we could think of to try to designate
the Christ energy, but maybe it's that kind of pure simplicity at its
essence.
I just bring
that out to cause us to think about how little we actually know about
who we are, and if we know so little about who we are, of course, we know
very little about who anybody else is; we might think that we know a lot,
but I think that it's 'surface stuff'.
"...healing
sometimes reveals inner beauty
in people and it's awesome."
We got caught
in the judgment of surface stuff; places of healing sometimes reveals inner
beauty in people and it's awesome. Sometimes the courage to go deep because
someone else's need is there, is a very responsible place to be in, and
it works.
If my own
need is there, I'm not very good at really focusing for myself. Unless
it's a really outstandingly major part of the process. Like going through
a divorce or something.
Sometimes
it has triggered an inner awakening in me because there was so much pain,
there was no other way to deal with it. It's like: "OK, God, I don't know
what the heck is going on!" And the inner Self gives some answers that
I haven't always liked, but they're very clear, and eventually I catch
up to understanding what the answers represent. It may take some years
to catch up to that deep compassionate place.
"Sometimes
a recognition of growth is like a gift..."
We don't have
to do it through that kind of difficulty. The ego likes to think that's
the only way to grow, but I think that's not true. Sometimes a recognition
of growth is like a gift, the ego can't figure out what it did or why it
is having that deep kind of peace, that deep joy. The ego always wants to
say: Well, was I doing QiGong? Was I meditating? What have I done to create
this? When in fact it was just a pure gift.
The only
thing we did to create that was just simply to get out of the way. We
forgot to hold up this rigid separation barrier for just a moment. And
that's where the healing activities are generally so beautiful. Because
in opening the healing process with another person, you're linked. And
it may be just a moment of Divine recognition and that is all it takes.
So, I'm going to stop here.
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